Friday, January 7, 2011

A Year Ago Today

I can't believe that a year ago today (right now), I was anxiously waiting my little one's arrival and wrote a blog about being patient for her to come.

What an amazing journey it was being pregnant for the first time, pacing the living room to try to jumpstart contractions, and so eager to hold my little one in my arms. As I think back a year ago and how I was feeling; I just begin to get emotional. I felt so much love for this child that I carried in my body, and without even meeting her or holding her, I was connected to her. There was this bond with her from the moment I knew I was pregnant. It is an indescribable feeling.

For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to be a Mother. Something maternal inside me said I was meant to have a child, to know the bonds between a Mother and her Baby. Through the nine months of my pregnancy I was filled with joy that my dream of becoming a Mother was being fulfilled. I loved every hiccup, kick, and roll that I could feel. I enjoyed watching my belly grow and my body change. I was in love with being pregnant, every part of it.

I became more in love with Reuben as I watched him fall in love with our child growing within me. I loved how he would sing to her and talk to her though my belly. I enjoyed seeing him respond to her moving and growing inside me. It was great that he didn’t want to miss a thing during the pregnancy. Something about watching his anticipation to becoming a Father was amazing to me. It was as if there was a part of him that was being completed by becoming a Father. I knew he was going to be an amazing Dad. He would love her unconditionally, spoil her rotten, and do everything in his power to protect her. I knew she would be the sparkle in Daddy’s eye and Daddy’s little girl. I love him for being the Man he is to me and the Father he is to our Daughter (even from the moment we knew we were pregnant).

As I reflect on my pregnancy and the last days of being a family of two, I am filled with joy. The memories Reuben and I shared as we anticipated her arrival are much to be cherished. Thinking of all the methods we tried to use to naturally induce labor are hilarious. Also, remembering my feelings of anger, fear, and inadequacy about our scheduled inducement date (which we didn’t have to use). I cherish those last days before our daughter arrived and all the emotions that I had. We will never again be the same. I am now a Mother and he a Father. We are bonded by not only our love for each other, but also a love for our daughter. Becoming a family was the best thing that happened to us.

To my Husband: Thank you for being the Man you are to me and the Father you are to our Daughter. Thank you for loving us unconditionally and being the strong hold in our lives. I love you more than words can express. Love LOVES!

To my Daughter: Thank you for fulfilling my dream of becoming a Mother. Thank you for blessing my life with joy, happiness, and reminding me every day of what miracles the Lord creates. I will forever be blessed by the magic you bring to my life. I love you with all my being and I will never be able to express to you the power that holds.

To my God: Thank you for creating Women to become Mothers. It is such a miracle that you create life from Man and Woman and allow this life to grow within the Woman’s body. Thank you for allowing me to enjoy that miracle and for blessing my life with the gift of our child. I love you, my God, and am thankful you have guided me on the path of Motherhood.

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